There are super models that do million dollar shoots in the most exotic places of the world. High end fashion brands invest in them because their physical feature is envied and desired. But when you talk to some of these models you find that they are shy, unable to speak in public or be adventurous. That is because they have high self esteem and low confidence. The models are aware that they are obviously beautiful. But at the same time they don’t have the confidence to engage in activities that you might think they’d excel in.
Similarly you may see a man leading and dominating a company meeting. He gets his point across and sells his idea well. But when you get to know him later on you are surprised to find that he does not think anyone likes him. And that he does not handle neither constructive criticism nor compliments well.
This is because there is a difference between self-esteem and confidence. Self esteem is internal — how you feel about yourself. Confidence is external — it’s how sure you are in your abilities to perform.
Both are equally important to work on so you can have a fulfilling life. People with healthy self-esteem and confidence are simply happier. They are self-reliant and social. They are even healthier — both physically and mentally. They know that their body deserves a long life, so they take care of themselves.
The best way to improve self esteem is by practicing the following:
- Positive self talk — tell yourself your positive quality and stop the negative self critic
- Abandon perfectionism — perfect is an abstract concept you made up to put yourself down. Your best is enough.
- Forgive yourself — if you did not do what you said you would, don’t be hard on yourself. Tell yourself it’s okay.
- Do not compare — comparison is the biggest thief of self-worth. No two people ever come into the world with the same circumstances and experience the same thing. You are on your own path. And they are on their own separate one.
The best way to improve confidence is by practicing the follwoing:
- Cultivate an encouraging circle — if you suffer from low confidence, encouraging family members and friends will fill you up with so much confidence steroids that you’ll be sure you can fly! They help you see a version of you that you don’t yet.
- Cut off negative people — alternatively those that bring you down hurt your confidence too. These include people with negative comments. And also those that use you.
- Learn to say no — a simple two letter word that many find difficult to say. When you say no, you put yourself first.
- Develop boundaries and standards — this will also help you say no. Your time is valuable. Your love, care, help is valuable. And you don’t give those freely without consideration. You also don’t accept negativity and disrespect. Your new standards simply do not allow it.
The journey to high self-esteem and confidence is long for some of us. But it is worth taking. Both for you and those around you. Slowly but surely you’ll be in a place of your life where no person or situation can knock you down, because you are sure of who you are. A person of value who is capable of anything.